How to Stop the Need to Control
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Humans are creatures of control. We rarely stop trying to control anything. Even when we say we’re ready to loosen our grip, that statement is a form of control. Because we are still looking to control the release of the reins.
Instead of releasing control entirely, we should assess what we can control, and what we can’t. The serenity prayer is a perfect example of this. Acceptance of the lack of control we do have over some situations is a great way to start.
But all good recipes have more than one ingredient. The next step is to work on our response to things we don’t have control over. Do we always respond with anger? Sadness? Do we respond by freaking out? If so, we’re still trying to control.
A response of simply observing the situation without misplaced emotion will allow us to have more peace in our lives; this is cultivated through a discipline of daily mindfulness and meditation habits.
When we are able to respond appropriately, we no longer focus on control. Instead, we make sound decisions on how to proceed. This practice will naturally mend our need to control.
How do we know if we are trying to control something? The minute something feels frustrating we can become the observer and know that the more we resist letting go, the more the angst will persist.
This is a good time to close our eyes and ask our inner wisdom why it is so important to us to have a certain outcome. The silence will answer.
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